Well I've been married for twenty-sex days now. For the most part this marriage thing is working out. We've sent wedding announcements to our friends and family. Were planning a wedding cake reception for our families to attend. My mother isn't currently speaking to me because she didn't approve of me marrying Matt. She thinks it was a mistake. And I guess I can't blame her. She knows I'm not in love with Matt. My family was upset that we got married so quickly. When I pictured getting married I always thought I would have a big wedding and that I would marry a man I was madly in love with. We still haven't consummated the marriage. Matt wants too I know. I know he loves and wants me, but I still feel no attraction to him. I'm in between a rock and hard place and there's no escape!

I posted a blog a month ago in which I talked about marrying a close friend of mine. We had never went on a single date but here I was talking about marrying him. I've known him for seven years and he is my closest friend. The only fly in the ointment is that I'm not sexually attracted to him. Still I was a single Mom raising two girls and of late its been getting harder and harder to survive alone. I told myself that years ago people got married for practical reasons and those marriages seemed to work out. The other big problem was that while I love him I'm not in love with him. My decision was to get married. We were married on August 29th, 2007. It's been nearly a month and the marriage still hasn't been consummated. Pretty messed up I keep hoping things will change.