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To Marry Or Not?


 To Marry Or Not!
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I posted a blog a month ago in which I talked about marrying a close friend of mine. We had never went on a single date but here I was talking about marrying him. I've known him for seven years and he is my closest friend. The only fly in the ointment is that I'm not sexually attracted to him. Still I was a single Mom raising two girls and of late its been getting harder and harder to survive alone. I told myself that years ago people got married for practical reasons and those marriages seemed to work out. The other big problem was that while I love him I'm not in love with him. My decision was to get married. We were married on August 29th, 2007. It's been nearly a month and the marriage still hasn't been consummated. Pretty messed up I keep hoping things will change.
Posted by Desari at 7:17 PM - 3 Comments   Add a Comment  
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I know what it's like to be a single mom with children. There's only so much you can do by yourself. While not everyone is going to agree... a psychologist friend once told me that there are all kinds of marriages; those that are based upon love, those that are based upon convenience, arranged marriages, partnerships, and so on... This was back when I was deciding on a marriage agreement. I ended up saying "yes" and married a man that was basically in name only. In fact, he was gay, a close friend and we were room mates. I say "basically" because we did share a deep caring and respect for each other and I believe that marriage consists of those two things and there is a type of love that grows from that. While we weren't "in love," we did love each other. If you have ever watched the show Will and Grace, that was a whole lot like our relationship.

Years went by and we both eventually fell "in love" with the one's we were meant to have a more spiritual bond with, and we parted the same way we got together, as very close friends. But during those years we were married, it served a very beneficial purpose for all of us.

Do you feel you may have made a mistake? I know my situation was different than the one you are in now, but I just wanted you to know my story and maybe somehow it will help, don't know how, but I thought maybe somehow it could.

 
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by Dragonflower (PM , CC ) on Sunday September 23, 2007 @ 9:15 PM




Wow, this is a tough situation. What were his reasons for marrying you? Is he attracted to you, or is your non-attraction mutual? Has he tried to be with you, but you're not in the "mood?"

You are right, though, plenty of marriages work without attraction. But I don't know about sex. Hmmm.
 
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by BlackNapalm (PM , CC ) on Sunday September 23, 2007 @ 9:23 PM




u hope everything worked out all right. if you turly dont love him he should nderstand  
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by jujubeans (PM , CC ) on Friday November 23, 2007 @ 12:23 AM


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
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Author: Desari  
From Spokane, Wa 99217, USA
Age: 34
 
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